Friday, December 2, 2022

Congrats, Browns, you weren’t inept and unethical


Hue Jackson and Jimmy Haslam are two of the losers responsible for the latest stretch of Cleveland Browns ineptitude.

Hue Jackson and Jimmy Haslam are two of the losers answerable for the newest stretch of Cleveland Browns ineptitude.
Picture: Getty Photos

Congratulations are to ensure that Jimmy Haslam and the Cleveland Browns. The NFL’s impartial investigation into former head coach Hue Jackson’s claims that the group paid him to lose video games found “no evidence” to substantiate those allegations, proving that the group didn’t deliberately lose video games however somewhat tried and nonetheless went 3-36-1 throughout a two-plus season run.

The 60-day evaluation was led by former Securities and Alternate Fee chair Mary Jo White, and whereas I’m not Adam Schefter-ing this from my closet studio someplace, emphatically telling you that the NFL may discover no proof, I used to be all the time leery that a company — even one as inept as Cleveland — would have a paper path a few pay-to-lose incentive.

It’s why I’m persistently in awe of the Miami-Brian Flores allegations, however possibly I shouldn’t be as a result of the Dolphins have been each bit as irrelevant because the Browns because of their very own depressing proprietor.

The distinction between the 2 instances is the person levying them. Flores had the Fins competing and profitable (no less than by Stephen Ross period requirements); Jackson is at Grambling State, hiring and then firing disgraced coach Art Briles, and presumably admitting tax fraud whereas making an attempt to tweet by means of it. The coach he selected to exchange Briles with isn’t squeaky clean either.

Jackson backed off his preliminary claims in opposition to Cleveland a couple of days after making them in February, telling CNN that he was by no means supplied cash like Flores however somewhat acquired a $750,000 year-end bonus for following the group’s tank-to-rebuild plan. (The investigation additionally discovered that there was no four-year tanking plan.) Moreover, after initially saying he’d communicate to the NFL’s investigators, Jackson in the end opted in opposition to it.

So right here we’re. All this ballyhoo and again and forth solely to determine a bunch of shit we already knew: Hue Jackson isn’t a superb soccer coach, Jimmy Haslam is possibly good at hiding incriminating proof, and the Browns had been simply being the Browns after they misplaced all of these video games.

Cleveland is what The Course of would appear like if Cleveland tried The Course of. Concussing Patrick Mahomes and then failing to benefit from the 11 billion alternatives to steal that AFC Divisional playoff recreation was the Brown’s model of the Kawhi Leonard quadruple bounce recreation.

I agree that Baker Mayfield isn’t a franchise quarterback. On the similar time, I additionally agree that Deshaun Watson isn’t a franchise quarterback regardless of his talent set and resume. Undecided what number of occasions I’ve to say it, however nice job buying and selling for a man being sued by extra therapeutic massage therapists than folks can rely on their fingers and toes (22 for these of you who forgot).

The Browns traded for Odell Beckham Jr. solely to piss him off, and he was on his strategy to Tremendous Bowl MVP with the Rams earlier than getting harm. The group signed Kareem Hunt, who the Chiefs minimize after video surfaced of him bull-rushing and kicking a lady in a CLEVELAND resort.

Sure, Myles Garrett is superb. He additionally took off an opposing QB’s helmet and then smacked him with it.

It’s unfair to tear the Browns like this as a result of they haven’t been “City Meyer in Jacksonville” incompetent in like two or three years. Prepared to miss disgusting conduct — alleged or videotaped — towards ladies? Sure. However objectively horrible at soccer? No.

I like Nick Chubb and coach Kevin Stefanski and completely love Cleveland followers. I feel third-round draft alternative David Bell might be a kind of receivers that Cris Collinsworth retroactively gushes about.

“I do know he didn’t have an amazing mix, Al, however watch his tape at Purdue and inform me he’s not an NFL receiver. The man has 232 receptions since 2019. I do know I’m not stunned.”

I really feel much less assured about Amari Cooper because the go-to choice. He’s my decide to be this 12 months’s model of Julio Jones or A.J. Inexperienced, aka the receiver who’s a No. 1 receiver by title recognition solely. He’ll be on the waiver wire sooner or later, and you’ll suppose he’s a superb decide up till you take a look at his recreation log.

If you’re questioning why I’m not spreading insults round and taking extra photographs at Jackson, it’s as a result of he’s not taking a victory lap and preaching about integrity whereas buying and selling for or signing gamers who don’t have any. And the Dawg Pound isn’t caught with Jackson the identical method they’re caught with an proprietor who by no means sees an allegation stick. (If you’re unaware of the $50 million fraud scheme carried out by the Flying J gas station chain and its employees, neither was Haslam. However you’re not the chairman of the corporate’s board.)

The group’s assertion may’ve featured just a little humility. “We perceive the confusion. If one other group was shedding video games at a seemingly inconceivable fee, it’d be truthful to query if it was intentional. We weren’t. We’re simply the Browns, and that was enterprise as normal.”

Cleveland didn’t keep away from public embarrassment, it prevented additional public embarrassment. There have been no winners from the NFL’s investigation as a result of all events answerable for that traditionally unhealthy stretch of Browns’ soccer are fucking losers.

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